Tuesday, July 1, 2014

{...the moment...} 19:108

Lately, a lot of things have been thrown at me at once and overwhelming me a tad. *understatement*  I have discovered over these last few months, by being involved in my Magic Making Circle, how sensitive I am to things around me.  I have realized how much I absorb others energy.  I have never figured this out before, but by witnessing these women and their openness & vulnerability, it has opened my eyes.  I am learning to let people go who do not fill me up.  I am learning boundaries and that I need to distance myself from time to time to re-charge.  I have learned that I am much better with my friends one on one.  I know I crave deep conversations and connections instead of small talk and contrived friendships.  

I have also noticed how I have numbed my feelings over the years.  They were too much.  I didn't know how to process them, so I numbed them.  I didn't' want to feel them.  I now know that there is power in these feelings.  I know that this sensitivity can be used for a higher purpose.  I know hiding who I truly I am...or masking or numbing - does not serve me any longer.  I must throw away the masks and accept that not feeling the joy, the excitement, the pain, the sadness is not how to live authentically.  

Now, I have become intrigued to find out how letting these feeling rise to the surface can catapult me forward.  How can these feelings be used to benefit myself and others?  I believe there are gifts to be found by allowing these feelings to have their space inside of me.  I must now allow myself to feel fully...feel it all - and not be afraid to expose myself to the world. 

It's time to get naked. 

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