{the warrior} bloom true

This canvas was my first canvas I began in my workshop, Bloom True, with the amazing Flora Bowley.  I had three canvases going during the course, but this was the one that I started with first after each lesson.  I always felt like this canvas was practice for letting go and trying out the new techniques.  It went through many, many transformations.  I got to a point where I felt like I was forcing the painting to be something it wasn't and it felt over-worked, so I sat it aside for two weeks.

I decided I would give it another try and covered the whole canvas with new colors.  I continued to add marks, but still nothing came to me.  I, once again, was SO frustrated and covered 90% of the painting in black and dark red, but continued to hear Flora's words..."there are no mistakes".  Then, for some reason, I decided to wipe off the majority of the paint I just covered it in.  It was late and I was frustrated, so I stopped.  After a couple of days of looking at it and turning the canvas, I noticed a woman with a headdress.

I continued to wipe off paint, add a few more marks and very little extra color...and this is her!

I named her "The Warrior" as she fought to be seen as I fought to let go and have faith in the process.  I love how she is looking up...to me - worshiping - maybe giving thanks.  To me, she represents courage and faith.  She is a testament to Flora's process!  As one of my fellow bloomers suggested...Whenever you're in doubt about life...look at her"! Yes!!  She now hangs in my bedroom so I see her every day.

In her honor, I share a Lakota Indian Prayer I had found awhile ago:

teach me how to trust 

my heart, 

my mind, 

my intuition, 

my inner knowing, 

the senses of my body, 

the blessing of my spirit.

teach me to trust these things 

so that I may enter my sacred space 

& love beyond my fear 

and thus walk in balance

 with the passing of each glorious sun. 

Below is a progression of this painting...

The Warrior, a set on Flickr.

{orchid sketch} 30/365

{orchid sketch for bloom true.}

God is the Seed;

The Universe is the Tree, 

Impulses & passions are the branches, 

Intelligence is the flower, 

Pure Consciousness is the fruit, 

Love is the sweetness in the fruit.

~ Sri Sathya Sai Baba

{standing on the edge} 29/365

Standing on the edge of one of my paintings -- at this point, I did not like this painting

too much, but kept going.  The whole thing morphed - this process

continues to amaze me.

I did a lot of painting this weekend and it has amazed me how they are coming together.

I would have never thought to draw some of the shapes

that just miraculously came out of the paintings.

Here's a sneak peek at a little corner of one.

{sketching} 18/365

{queen anne's lace}

{purple thistle}

'I have learned that what I have not drawn I have never really seen, 

and that when I start drawing an ordinary thing, 

I realize how extraordinary it is, sheer miracle.' 

~ Frederick Franck "The Zen of Seeing"

{five} things:

1.  an amazing sunrise

2.  making progress on the accounting system

3.  finding some awesome gold & copper color paint

4.  making yummy pizzas

5.  watching Tigers game...and they win!

{painting progression} bloom true

 I can not believe how different my painting is from each step to the next.  

I ended up completely covering the 2nd layer with the third layer.  I guess I just keeping going & keep trusting that something will come of this since I seem to be having a hard time "letting go"!  

This whole process has given me so much insight as to my patience (or lack thereof) 

and wanting to know an outcome!  Even waiting for the next painting lesson is a test of patience for me.  

I want to know the whole process right now.  :-)  

I can seem to grasp that there are no mistakes.  My perfectionism is a persistent little bugger.

Oh, and then there is the comparing -- seeing others paintings posted that I really enjoy and criticize myself for not being able to let go and create something beautiful too!  Ugh.  So, as you can tell, this week of lessons on letting go is much needed for me!!  

I feel like I have learned more "life lessons" than I have about painting -- which is a good thing!
As I know in my heart that releasing these feelings/habits/thoughts will not only benefit me with my creativity but also in my life!  For this, I say THANK YOU.

“The day I understood everything, 

was the day I stopped trying to figure everything out. 

The day I knew peace was the day 

I let everything go.” 

― C. JoyBell C.

{second layer}

I now have three paintings going.  I didn't give up on my first one yet (even though I wanted to just started over - it's the bottom left painting)...just kept going with the second layer. 

 I did start two new ones so I could get more practice.

On this second painting, I make more marks than stokes..trying to figure out what works for me.

So, I picked out the marks that where created that I loved...

{inspiration} 8/365

Out looking for things I love for inspiration for painting.  

I ended up finding inspiration in a field -- 

these spent flowers have some great curves & interest.  

Queen Anne's lace is considering a weed, but I find it such a beautiful flower...

such intricate detail of little flowers appearing like one flower.  

You just need to take the time to look a little closer.

“It is good to love many things, 

for therein lies the true strength, and 

whosoever loves much performs much,  and 

can accomplish much, 

& what is done in love is well done.” 

~  Vincent van Gogh

{five} things:

1.  cooking breakfast together

2.  spending time painting today

3.  finding marks & shopes i love in my painting

4.  coffee!

5.  working ofnthee blog

{selfie} for bloom true 6/365

Thursday's prompt for Bloom True was a selfie...here I am :-)

Today is a PAINTING prompt!!

I have been impatiently waiting to paint again & see the next step.

{five} things:

1.  it's FRIDAY!

2.  standing up for myself

3.  watching the Tigers with Mr. G -- and they won!

4.  making popcorn -- real popcorn...on the stove

5.  get to stay over tonight & snuggle <3

{i am an artist} bloom true 5/365

Affirmation - I am an artist.

Words that inspire me & resonate deeply.

I choose this photo to add my words since I was having such a hard time letting go 

and letting the painting evolve.  Even knowing this is the first layer and it will be covered up, 

I kept having the urge to just paint over it in white and start over.  

That perfectionist part of me is a persistent one!  

So, I choose to surrender to the process.

{five} things:

1.  beautiful clouds this morning as the sun was rising

2.  a warm autumn day

3.  a good laugh

4.  signing up for another of Vivienne McMaster's workshops

5.  dinner at Mr. G's mom's house -- homemade fried chicken & dumplings...yum!

{expressing myself} 4/365

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening 

that is translated through you into action, 

and because there is only one of you in all time, 

this expression is unique. 

And if you block it, it will never exist 

through any other medium and will be lost.” 

― Martha Graham

5 Things:

1. I was putting make up on in my car and the man next to me rolled down his window & said "you already look beautiful"...made my day :-)

2.  a beautiful fall day

3.  having drinks after work with Mr. G to enjoy the beautiful day

4.  yummy chicken salad I made for dinner

5.  the leaves starting to change colors - LOVE autumn

{fist layer} bloom true

Our first day of painting...letting go of control!

first layer done...

{art wall} bloom true

Today I took down all my artwork & photos on a wall in my art room

and put up some cardboard to make space for painting.

It makes me feel like an artist.

{before}

{creativity} 3/365

My blank canvas...first day of painting for Bloom True.

{five} things:

1.   spin class in the morning...starting the day right

2.  made a wall of cardboard in my art space to paint on - love it

3.  started my first painting in Bloom True workshop

4.  reading all the inspiring posts in Bloom True

5.  first day of emails for "Good Night Beautiful day" by Hahhah Marcotti -- 

another way of turning inward & reflecting

b4fifty {No. 3} bloom true

Another "to do" from my b4fifty list is happening...starting today!  

Today is the official first day of the Bloom True workshop with Flora Bowley...