Day 304 {Reverb11} Surprise

Prompt#15 ~ Surprise.

What event of 2011 affected you in an unexpected way?

The “event” that affected me the most this year is the relationship that started this summer.  I have been very reluctant to truly open myself up and be vulnerable to someone because of my fear of being hurt.  As soon as I begin having feelings for someone, I put up walls to protect myself.  This year is the first time that I allowed those walls to come down and genuinely love someone.  Actually, I surprised myself how quickly the feelings formed and how I let myself enjoy it.  Honestly, I do have a hard time writing about it, but writing this is making me realize that I have made strides.

I have learned a lot about myself in this relationship – mostly, the struggles I still have with speaking my voice.  I have worked hard at communicating, but know I have a way to go to become better at it.  I have had a tendency in the past to shut down instead of speak up.  I have taken the time to really think about what it is I want in a relationship.  I have also thought about who I need to be!  This is definitely something that I will continue to work on and grow with in 2012 – looking forward to it!  <3

This quote by Jackson Kiddard is how I intend to think going into 2012 ~ letting it in with love:

“Don’t settle because you’re afraid you won’t find something better. 

Don’t compromise because you don’t want to be alone. 

Give your perfect life, lover and job time and space to grow into our life. 

Don’t rush, don’t hurry. Take your time, be easy, have patience. 

Allow everything to come to you with your subtle guiding and intending. 

Your days of constant chasing with little reward are over. 

Everything you’ve ever wanted and more coming to you, 

you just have to let it in with love, 

receptivity and non-judgment.

 Letting it in is how you become it.”

- Jackson Kiddard